Get your Tweets to "TWHAT" Status

Ladies I have a couple of qualms with your tweets these day...and maybe even dudes too.

I see those "sweet (Christian sorority) girls" tweetin -

"Today I was driving and God's glory was shown to me! Psalms 118:24 -This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Thinking about my sisters #[enter sorority name here]" (note: every tweet has some bible verse, relevant or not)

I see those "non-sweet (raspy voiced sorority) girls" tweetin - 

"OMG yall wur you at? @jslut @maryparty [yea thats a double name] @jhoe @geegee, pre-gaming at crosby without u!! #[enter sorority name here]" including a picture of a blonde haired girl with a solo cup, flushed face...and most importantly she is by herself

I see those "FCA (disney star/ zac efron type/in the fraternity to change it) dudez" tweetin - 

"Intramurals game tonight, trying to keep Philippians 4:13 in mind - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. #[enter bench press max. here]" (remember he has graduated from his 2 state titles, but he is really cute LOLZZZZ)

I see those "Animal House (frat star/5th year/drinks more beer than you/in the fraternity to keep it the same - white and stupid) dudez" tweetin - 

"Me and my boys raged tonight at STS9 best show ever #[enter number of beers drunk here]" 

And finally i see those "Clown (red haired, good at juggling and ballon tying, doesn't fit into society) dudez" tweetin -

"I WUB MY MOMMA!!!!!! #ITZWURICUMFRUM" (he doesn't even know what that meanz)

I have one thing to say:

PREDICTABLE

b4 u say "AWWW HELLZ NAW WHITE BOI"

listen

shhhhhh.....

listen 

shhhhhh......

shhhhhh......

listen

shhhhhh......

I am going to try to get you from predictable status to "TWHAT"!!!!!! status

What does that mean clown? you may say, i say it means when someone reads your tweet they immediately say "TWHAT"!!!!!! (yea its 6 exclamation points because its six times exciting) because they are so caught off guard and they LUVVVVV twitter.

Maybe i dont want someone saying TWHAT, well then you can quote your overused and wrongly interpreted Bible verses.

STEP 1 [for da sweet gurlz]: pull crazy bible verses out, i mean why hasnt anyone done this already?

"God really revealed his glory to me and I thought of this verse - There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. Ezekial 23: 20 [TWHAT!!!!!!]

STEP 2 [for da non-sweet gurlz]: Include picture of something borderline illegal, prove to @jslut you are bad

"Oxford is so much phunn #arrested" da pik linkz ya 2 dis foto - 

Yea it is me, but that shouldn't be your first thought, racist

"TWHAT"!!!!!!

STEP 3 [for da FCA dudez]: make it personal, so people can relate, you already won everything in life

"@Mymom hey F#$#% U"  ["TWHAT"!!!!!!]

STEP 4 [for da Animal House dudez]: Hash tag something CRAY-ZEE

"#idontbelieveinfraternitiesanymore" ["TWHAT"!!!!!!]

STEP 5 [for da Clown dudez]: Don't tweet anymore, we don't care

"TWHAT"!!!!!!

I know this might offend some people, but I'm just trying to get some TWHAT's out of this.