EMERGENCY POST

I DONT KNOW IF ANYONE HAS NOTICED, BUT SATAN IS COMING TO AMERICA VIA THEATER SCREENS BEHIND THE NAME OF HARRY POTTER!!!!

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WARNING!!!


WARNING!!!


DO NOT LET YOUR CHILDREN OR FRIENDS GO TO THIS!!! THEY WILL START PLAYING WITH STICKS IN THE GROVE AND WORSHIP SATAN ON SUNDAYS!!!

RC KIDS, GROSSSSSS!!!!!

ATTENTION!!!


ATTENTION!!!


I HAVE A PLAN TO STOP SATAN AND FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT:

BURN EVERY SINGLE HARRY POTTER BOOK/MOVIE/POKEMON CARDS THIS THURSDAY IN THE PARKING LOT OF THE MALCO IN OXFORD!!!

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THIS IS A CALL TO ARMS FOR ANY SOUTHERN BAPTIST PREACHER/YOUTH MINISTER/OR MOM WHOSE TOO INVOLVED - BRING THE J.G.F - JESUS, GAS, AND FIRE

HOPEFULLY THE FIRE WILL LOOK LIKE THIS

THE FIRST PERSON WE SEE DRESSED IN ROBES, WEARING GLASSES, OR HAS A BEARD IS A CRUSADER FOR SATAN AND WE WILL THROW HIM/HER/IT INTO THE FIREY FURNACE OF HARRY POTTER HELL

THEY WILL PROBABLY LOOK LIKE THIS

WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH WILL BE IN ATTENDANCE!!!

AWESOME!!!!

PASTOR JONES WILL BE BURNING QUORANS!!! J.K. ROWLING AND STEPHANIE MEYER ARE LESBIAN TERRORISTS INFILTRATING OUR YOUTH THROUGH SICK MAGICIAN/VAMPIRE/BESTIALITY/NERD/ HOMO/RACIAL MIXING RELATIONS/ROSIE O'DONNELL/ELLEN DEGENERES/MICHAEL JACKSON IDOLATRY WORSHIP WITH THEIR BOOKS

THIS IS WHAT HARRY POTTER DOES!!!!

I KNOW MY SON LOOKS LIKE RON WEASLEY, BUT IVE GOTTEN A CATHOLIC PRIEST TO EXORCISE HIS HAIR AND HE SAID ALL THE DEMONS LEFT, BUT HE STILL DOESNT HAVE A SOUL!!!

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DONT WORRY HE WAS THE LAST EXORCISM

BE THERE OR SEE YOU IN HELLLLL!!!!


LOVE,
BLAKE'S MOM


(HOW DO YOU TAKE CAPS LOCK OFFFFFFF!!!!!)


(ITS IN RED BECAUSE THAT IS THE COLOR OF HELL WHICH YOU WILL ALL BURN IN IF YOU SEE THIS MOVIE)

Get your Tweets to "TWHAT" Status

Ladies I have a couple of qualms with your tweets these day...and maybe even dudes too.

I see those "sweet (Christian sorority) girls" tweetin -

"Today I was driving and God's glory was shown to me! Psalms 118:24 -This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Thinking about my sisters #[enter sorority name here]" (note: every tweet has some bible verse, relevant or not)

I see those "non-sweet (raspy voiced sorority) girls" tweetin - 

"OMG yall wur you at? @jslut @maryparty [yea thats a double name] @jhoe @geegee, pre-gaming at crosby without u!! #[enter sorority name here]" including a picture of a blonde haired girl with a solo cup, flushed face...and most importantly she is by herself

I see those "FCA (disney star/ zac efron type/in the fraternity to change it) dudez" tweetin - 

"Intramurals game tonight, trying to keep Philippians 4:13 in mind - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. #[enter bench press max. here]" (remember he has graduated from his 2 state titles, but he is really cute LOLZZZZ)

I see those "Animal House (frat star/5th year/drinks more beer than you/in the fraternity to keep it the same - white and stupid) dudez" tweetin - 

"Me and my boys raged tonight at STS9 best show ever #[enter number of beers drunk here]" 

And finally i see those "Clown (red haired, good at juggling and ballon tying, doesn't fit into society) dudez" tweetin -

"I WUB MY MOMMA!!!!!! #ITZWURICUMFRUM" (he doesn't even know what that meanz)

I have one thing to say:

PREDICTABLE

b4 u say "AWWW HELLZ NAW WHITE BOI"

listen

shhhhhh.....

listen 

shhhhhh......

shhhhhh......

listen

shhhhhh......

I am going to try to get you from predictable status to "TWHAT"!!!!!! status

What does that mean clown? you may say, i say it means when someone reads your tweet they immediately say "TWHAT"!!!!!! (yea its 6 exclamation points because its six times exciting) because they are so caught off guard and they LUVVVVV twitter.

Maybe i dont want someone saying TWHAT, well then you can quote your overused and wrongly interpreted Bible verses.

STEP 1 [for da sweet gurlz]: pull crazy bible verses out, i mean why hasnt anyone done this already?

"God really revealed his glory to me and I thought of this verse - There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. Ezekial 23: 20 [TWHAT!!!!!!]

STEP 2 [for da non-sweet gurlz]: Include picture of something borderline illegal, prove to @jslut you are bad

"Oxford is so much phunn #arrested" da pik linkz ya 2 dis foto - 

Yea it is me, but that shouldn't be your first thought, racist

"TWHAT"!!!!!!

STEP 3 [for da FCA dudez]: make it personal, so people can relate, you already won everything in life

"@Mymom hey F#$#% U"  ["TWHAT"!!!!!!]

STEP 4 [for da Animal House dudez]: Hash tag something CRAY-ZEE

"#idontbelieveinfraternitiesanymore" ["TWHAT"!!!!!!]

STEP 5 [for da Clown dudez]: Don't tweet anymore, we don't care

"TWHAT"!!!!!!

I know this might offend some people, but I'm just trying to get some TWHAT's out of this.

Beginning at the End

Usually people might say, "oh me oh my eww wee, i have never blogged b4 so now i want all my boiz and all my gurlz to hear what i got to say cuz i read dere crappy blogs so i just thought i might start"

SCREW THAT!!!

Ever watch Back to the Future?

I'm not sure I have but I'm about to take you back to the future by beginning my blog with what my last blog will be:

"After becoming the first red head president, marrying Hermione Granger (yes, I made her change her name to that, I WUZZ DA PRESIDENT), and successfully abolished uggs, I have to give all my thanks to the man that made it possible: Will Nettleton.
Yes, I know he is a convicted rapist (who knows maybe I'll be one dae too JKJKJKJK!)  but he was once an alright human being.  Humble beginnings on the ghetto streets of Tupelo he reigned slangin dope to kids like me.  I knew he looked like a 12 year old at the time, but I always knew he would look like a 12 year...always.  Needless to say he paved the paths for me: wave connection, Gay T Bro, alpine camp for future rapists, and even RUF MC.  I know he lied to people and made wave connection appear to be something that was "cool" in high school for his collegiate peers.  I know he sold his body for the Alpha Tau Omegas and made them money.  And i know his RUF farewell speech will go down in history as things that made me crap my pants.  But this is all I have to say to you Will Nettleton:

Thanks for nothing.

I grew up with phrases like "you look like will nettleton and you are almost as funny" oh so i look like a twelve year old and even though I have clown like attributes I'm not as funny?  Let me tell you something blogosphere - HATAZ GON HATE AND BALLAZ GON BALL - guess what i chose?

Blake Pruett = Will Nettleton 2.0

Firstly - Show Choir
Guess who had the solo for the opener of Wave Connection's competition show?
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_MvTuQfB68
(I told y'all he was a liar and it's not cool, but at least I was better at being gay)
 Look at him on the side wishing he could touch a microphone (pedophile)

Secondly - Gay Tee Brotherhoodship
1. I give out at least 5 high fives to my frothers a day
2. I give probably like 3 knux to my frothers a day
3. I love and respect all of my frothers a day
4. I haze at least 1 goats with my frothers a day
5. I hate GDI's like 3 times with my frothers a day

Top that.

Threely - Alpine Camp for Future Rapists

I know you, the Will Nettleton, were head conselour, BUT
I'm not a rapist...yet.

Fourly- RUF MC

As noted before, I defecated in my pants during your farewell speech...hoo rah
but riddle me this, who has a chick on stage with them?

I have no permission to use this picture, judge me accordingly

BOO-YAH!!!!
(she definitely chose to be up there just because of me)










Ok, so i think i have proven my point...I am Will Nettleton.
I am sorry to say that I will never blog again just in case I follow in the footsteps of my once predecessor and become a rapist

Love and Respect to All of my Frothers,
Will Nettleton 2.0"

Disclaimer - I have never been to the future